Eyes on Me

When I was in elementary school I played on a softball team for a few years. I think we were pretty good as little girl sports teams go. I seem to recall winning "regional champions" or something like that. Whatever we won, I'm pretty sure it wasn't on my account. I've never been the competitive sort (at least when it comes to sports) and am not particularly athletic. (My parents still argue this point with me...I think they just have a case of "parental bias".....). Anyway, I walked often, got hits seldom, would cry every time I struck out, and did pirouettes in the outfield.

Real nice.

Anyway, I thought of that team randomly this morning. We had a few coaches (dads of fellow teammates). They were wonderful, and honestly I can't imagine the frustration of coaching a girls' softball team (think crazy emotional and the pirouettes mentioned previously). I remember in particular the coach who always stood at third base. I wasn't skilled enough to "get on base" very often, but when I did I remember he would always remind me, "Christie, eyes on me." As soon as I got to second base, I was to fix my eyes on this coach. He would carefully (and quickly) watch the next play and determine if I should run to him at third, or if I should stay put. I trusted him completely (what do I know about this game anyway?) and diligently looked to him for my signal. If he motioned me to come, I went. If he held up his hand for me to stay, that's what I did.

No second guessing.

No contemplation.

No biggie. Just eyes on the coach.

Simple.

Funny how those little bits of memories came back to me this morning. God has been so gracious in allowing a season of peace to fill my heart as of late. If you know me, you know I struggle with worry and fear. I talk about this a lot. It's a big part of my story and almost always a part of how the Lord is refining me and working in me.

I had a few minutes of time alone this morning with Kyle off at work and baby still sleeping. As I ate breakfast and packed lunches I could feel some of that worry creep up. Some of those fears began to emerge. Even some new ones started to materialize. And as I began to try to stuff them away before they got the best of me, I heard it.

My Lord's gentle, loving whisper.

"Christie, eyes on Me."

Peace and relief flooded my soul. Of course, Lord. If my eyes are on You, nothing else matters. And fear and worry? They only exist in the absence of You. In Your presence they disappear. You hold me in the palm of Your hand. You know and understand the very things about me that make no sense to me. You made me. You love me, with a love so truly great I will never comprehend it. If I fix my eyes on You, everything else fades away. I can rest in complete surrender and utter trust in You. And everything uncertain is made simple. Because You've got this. I'm not guaranteed anything besides You, which is maybe the most freeing thing. Because You're it. And You're more than enough.

Wesley's first day of Mother's Day Out - September 5, 2012